18 4 / 2012
I have to listen to this album all at once. There are no songs, just the album to me. Derp.
(via womanfeedme)
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18 4 / 2012
Yo dawgs.
I finally figured out my tumblr password again. So yay. Jeezus, I didn’t realize how upset I was until I reread my posts. But I’m happy now(: I’m dating this girl and she’s legit. (:
But yeah, I’ve been barefot running more and it’s awesome. School is stressful, but ok. I’ve become more conflicted and confused about who I am, religion, everything really. But so is everyone, I guess.
I’ve been writing music and actually keeping it, so that’s great. A lot of poetry, too. It’s mainly for myself, so it’s probably not any good, but c’est la vie.
TlL;DR life’s ok sometimes.
31 12 / 2011
Huh.
Re-reading my posts, I never realized how truly distraught I have been. I mean, I know I was upset, but damn.
Things are ok. You can just leave. I’m sick of all this irrelevant frivolous stuff you keep doing. I’m not longer upset about what you’ve been doing to me, because It doesn’t deserve my attention. Have fun being a doormat, and here’s a preemptive “I told you so” for the next time he uses you. I’ve tried to hard for this. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
You, on the other hand, thank you. Thanks for being amazing. You have no idea how much you’ve helped me without even doing anything. I’m sad we can’t spend new year;s together, but that’s ok. I don’t think that anything has clicked this easily, and for that I am grateful (:
Area is on the 7th, and although I’ve been boning everyday, I’m still dreading the audition, more so just having to audition, less the nerve aspect.
I got a keyboard for Christmas, and I’ve spent so much time coming up with new Ideas….hell, maybe I’ll write a song that isn’t shit.
Art and Object manipulation have been more prevalent in my life, especially figure drawing and attached juggling.
Wait a minute….I just wrote a journal entry pretty much. Aw shit.
31 12 / 2011
Every time.
(via sinfoniaflutist)
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19 12 / 2011
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15 12 / 2011
What the fuck is wrong with you.
You’re with him. Again. After everything. After he lied to you. Dragged you down. Hid things from you. After he fucking cheated on you. What the FUCK makes you think anything will be different. How does that sleazy fucker get so many goddamn chances, while I’ve been waiting for one for years?
On a second thought, why the hell am I still chasing after you, after you dragged me through all this shit, stood me up repeatedly? After all that I still want that goddamned chance, so for fuck’s sake stop letting him use you and let me show you how a damned gentleman treats his girl.
04 12 / 2011
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09 11 / 2011
Beauty
It’s strange how when I see beauty in nature, I feel lonely.
Like a perfect night: full moon, layered purple clouds, enough wind to keep them moving, like a damn storybook picture.
Why does something like that make me down?
Maybe it’s because I don’t posses beauty like that. Maybe it reminds me that I don’t look good.
Or maybe I just happen to notice accidental beauty, like in nature, when I’m upset or feeling lonely (which is often).
I don’t know. Maybe it’s witchcraft.
All I know is that I feel lonely.
Not in the sense that I don’t have ANYBODY: I have fantastic friends and a supportive family. It’s the kind of lonely where you know that you’re still missing that one person who makes you feel like you’re not some lovesick creeper puppy, but instead she makes you feel more than useless.
Sigh.
06 11 / 2011
sjd;lvnsd.,fka
I’m upset and I don’t know why.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
06 11 / 2011
Nerve.
Don’t you dare.
Don’t you FUCKING dare tell me that things just “fall into place.”
You stood my ass up.
Hurt me.
And now that every basis you had for leaving has been flipped,
rectified,
and worked out for you,
you just “want to make sure I’m happy.”
Sit the fuck down.
Shut the hell up.
GTFO.
24 10 / 2011
That fucking hurts.
I love how you think I don’t have the right to be upset.
To be hurt.
After everything that happened.
After having to fake.
After you, the person I care about most, told me that I’m the least of your concerns.
And that I’m not fucking wanted.
Words have never hurt so much.
